We are well into our first week of reality in 2016, and I hope you are all having a fine start to the year. Perhaps you're crushing your New Years Resolutions or maybe you didn't make any, but either way I've got an idea for making 2016 a little better on purpose.
If I were to ask you, what gets in the way of your happiness, what might you say? And amidst answers about things like the weather or your mean uncle or your partner's annoying habits, if I challenged you to pick out a few of the ways you get in your own way, what would be on that list? I lovingly label this list the "F*ck It" list and encourage you to make one and then work on letting the things on the list go. This is a daily practice, but it starts with deciding that you're just done with something and then recognizing when you need to let it go in your day to day.
To help, I want to include three additions to my list from this year, along with my justification and where I'm at. Remember, it's a process. The first step is identifying the habits or behaviours that weigh you down. The second is making it matter - why do you need to let 'em go? Then starts the challenging part of actually putting this all into practice. Good luck, and remember: this is about creating space in your life for you to enjoy it a little more, to fill it with less of the things that bring you down and more of the stuff that makes you feel alive.
F*ck It, 2016 Version
1. Perfectionism - I have a love hate relationship with my perfectionist tendencies. On one hand, they lead to procrastination and they drive a feeling of "not good enough" I have to consciously fight against, but on the other hand, I recognize that they keep me striving towards being my best. Still, at the end of the day, if I can realize that letting go of perfectionism doesn't mean letting go of trying my hardest--actually allows me to try without fear of failing at being perfect--I'll be better off. Here's to finding the balance between striving and aiming for perfection, and enjoying the process.
2. People pleasing - The word "no" is oh so simple, but not so easy. I am working on committing to the things that I genuinely want to and releasing the guilt over saying no to social functions or workouts or favours that I am not interested in. There are certainly things that we need to do that we might not wholeheartedly jump out of bed looking forward to, but I think most of us can recognize where we have been driven by guilt or the fear of letting someone down to say yes where we would rather say no. Imagine the possibility and space in our lives if we could say no a little more? I'm down for that!
3. Gossip - This is going to be the toughest of all tough for me. No one wants to admit it, but there's a lot of bonding that goes on over complaining. Lately I've noticed myself jealous and getting snarky, or using gossip to complain about the same old things. So, how to deal with it? I hope to remind myself that I want to put positive vibes out into the world, and to catch myself complaining and stop it in its foot tracks. Already I've realized that I gossip and whine a lot more than I would like to admit, and noticing the way that it brings people down is certainly enough to make me add it to this list. Challenge accepted.